“Radu Dragusin is the most hapless defender in modern Premier League history and will be a big part of why Spurs go down if they do,” thunders Christopher Flaherty. “Every time I see him he plays badly, gives away a goal or gets sent off.”
You could just as easily be talking about Romero or Van de Ven.
Our teams are tunnelled … and here they come!
So, where is the game? Well, Liverpool will look to get at Spurs down the sides, behind the wing-backs and outside the outside centre-backs, but will also expect to dominate midfield with an extra man there – even without Wirtz dropping in. It’s very hard to see how they don’t boss every aspect of this game.
Spurs, meantime, have two full-backs at wing-back so I’m not sure how they’re expecting to create from wide – especially as Porro, their best attacker in that position, is at centre-back. And, given Liverpool are vilnerable down the flanks, that doesn’t make a;l that much sense. Otherwise, they’ll want Richarlison box-crashing, hoping he’s not picked up, while Tel, who’s improved a bit in recent weeks, looks to get shots off.
Slot is playing Ngumoha now as he’s been training with them all season, improving and his game-time has gone up so he’s not ready having played well against Wolves. Also, Ekitike missed a day of training in the week and, with three games in seven days, plus another on Wednesday with the potential to go into extra time, he’s on the bench. I whinged abot that earlier, but actually, fair enough.
“It’s not only Igor Tudor who has problems; Arne Slot is in a bit of a mire too,” reckons Darryl Ancone. “The Postecoglou Paradox says that the second season is always better; the Slot Syllogism deems the opposite.
Premise one: Slot wins the league in his first season. (As he’s done in the Eredivisie and the Premiership).
Premise two: Slot fails to win the league in his second season. (As happened in the Eredivisie and is about to happen in the PL).
Conclusion: Slot is a first-season wonder, a second-season flunker.
How he’ll do in a third consecutive season at a club is anyone’s guess. Will he even be at Anfield after the summer break?”
Last season, his team were a season nearer Jürgen Kloop, too – remember how Mourinho’s Chelsea were great for years after Mourinho left – but now, there’s much more of him in them and, so far, it’s showing. If Liverpool don’t make the Champions League he’s toast – and, especially with Xabi Alonso available, he may be anyway.
On which point, Harry Redknapp could scarcely have done more to undermine him when interviewed at Cheltenham on Friday, saying he’d take the job and feeling as fit as he ever has. At this point, it feels to late in the day for tactical tweaks – Spurs need confidence and vibes, not only what Redknapp brings but the thesaurus antonym for “Igor Tudor”.
In rollneck and syoot, Igor Tudor says Conor Gallgher is out ill – Spurs only have seven subs – and says the players need to help each other. Then, told Anfield is the hardest place they could come right now, he corrects Patrick Davidson, noting that “every stadium is difficult for us now”, his unbridled and contagious positivity continuing apace.
“COYS,” begins Nick Wayne. “My notifications will be off at 4pm. It’s a lovely sunny day (so far...). Oh lord, what a [recacted]show to come.”
It’s now raining in north London…
Spurs, by the way, host Forest at 2.15pm next Sunday. That is colossal, whatever happens today.
On which point, results from our early games:
Manchester United 3-1 Aston Villa
Nottingham Forest 0-0 Fulham
Crystal Palace 0-0 Leeds United
Solanke is, I think, the only player who might save Tottenham. If he can keep scoring, that could get them going – problem being he’s a 28-year-old who’s had one serious season or, in other words, a frankly ridiculous purchase at the price and one typical of Spurs.
Otherwise, Mohammed Kudus might be back after this month’s internationals, which would definitely help. But, in the meantime, his team look like they don’t really know how to score nor what type of goal they’re seeking to score, and in another two weeks, who knows where they’ll be in the table.
As for Tottenham, Tudor persists with the 3-4-3 formation that could barely suit his players less. Pedro Porro is plays on the right of the central-defenders, which might work better than Joao Palhinha – Terry Venables always liked a full-back there for their speed on the cover and ability to get forward. In midfield, meantime, Archie Gray – the only player not to shame himself in recent weeks – continues in his preferred position, finally doing what he was bought for while, up front, Solanke returns presumably because he couldn’t be risked in Madrid.
I’m really excited to see how Ngumoha does. I love what I’ve seen of him so far, in particular his desire to attack his man, something you can teach, and his timing, which you probably cannot. As we saw last evening, extreme talent is undeniable.
Otherwise, I’m guessing Florian Wirtz will play as a false nine, Slot still seeking a way of accentuating his technical brilliances while hiding his physical weaknesses; all I can say is there’s not a chance I’d leave out Ekitike for the overall package, but here we are.
In defence, I’m also looking forward to seeing how Frimpong does – at his best, he’s an explosive game-breaker, but injury has prevented him from showing much of it so far, while Joe Gomez is presumably felt a more reliable option than Konate.
We’ll discuss what it all means in a moment, but Manchester United now lead Villa 3-1, Benjamin Sesko scoring off the bench yet again.
Igor Tudor, meanwhile, makes four alterations to the side tormented by Atlético in midweek: Guglielmo Vicario replaces Antonin Kinsky in net just 16 minutes earlier than he did then, while Cristian Romero and Micky van de Ven are respectively concussed and suspended, Radu Dragusin and Souza replacing them while, in attack, Dominic Solanke is in for Randal Kolo Muani.
Ch ch ch changes: Arne Slot makes five to the team beaten by Galatasaray in midweek, the headline Rio Ngumoha’s first league start. Also in are Alisson, Jeremie Frimpong, Andy Robertson and Cody Gakpo, with Giorgi Mamardashvili, Ibrahima Konate, Milos Kerkez, Mohamed Salah and Hugo Ekitike dropping to the bench.
Liverpool (4-3-3): Alisson; Frimpong, Gomez, Van Dijk, Robertson; Gravenberch, Szoboszlai, Mac Allister; Ngumoha, Wirtz, Gakpo. Subs: Mamardashvili, Konate, Kerkez, Salah, Chiesa, Jones, Ekitike, Nyoni, Ramsay.
Tottenham Hotspur (3-4-3): Vicario; Porro, Danso, Dragusin; Spence, Sarr, Gray, Souza; Richarlison, Solanke, Tel. Subs: Kinsky, Austin, Rowswell, Olusesi, Simons, Kolo Muani, Wilson.
Referee: Chris Kavanagh (Ashton-under-Lyne)
Elsewhere, in a match relevant to Spurs, Forest and Fulham are drawing 0-0 with roughly 23 minutes to go.
And of course the second of them is relevant to our game, Liverpool competing with United and Villa for a Champions League spot. The former went in front through Casemiro, Ross Barkley then equalised, and Matheus Cunha has just restored the home side’s advantage.
First things first: we’ve two bangers already in progress…
Powerless patsies – among them cynics and sceptics, jokers and losers – acting with naivety and arrogance, making dreadful decisions as if on purpose, immense but obviously misplaced confidence gradually dwindling as threats and warnings are blithely ignored, peripheral characters departing the scene never to be seen again with those who remain reduced to meat puppets of gibbering jelly. Yes, Spurs’ season has more than a little in common with a horror movie.
But the tweak that makes their rendition uniquely compelling is the innovation of its meta aspect: the characters know they’re in a film, unable to escape a world they can’t control and fully aware there’s a worldwide audience wincing, laughing and cheering on the monster, their lives co-opted for kicks. There is no one anyone wants to be less.
In such circumstance, there is no staging post less inviting than Anfield. Just last season, many of the same players delivered one of the least vertebrate performances of all time, turning up in the second leg of the League Cup semi holding a one-goal lead before subsiding to a 4-0 defeat, terrified of even believing there was another way.
Of course, win today and suddenly life seems much less intense … except an unlikely triumph which suggests all will be well is yet another horror-movie trope. A horror-movie trope which precedes the most entertainingly gruesome carnage of all.
